A Narcissist's View of the 99%

The occupy movement is making waves, whether you like it or hate it. I can’t decide what I think of it, some days I think it’s great that there is actual some civic participation but other days I just wish I could tell them to get a day job. So instead of going through the mess of trying to figure it out I will just stand back and make fun of both sides. It’s as if both sides have betrayed their governing philosophies. Let me explain.

Liberal America is known as America’s minority party, it is the party that has fought for title nine and affirmative action, they have been the face of so many actions to give increased rights to minority groups be it eskimos, homosexuals, seniors, immigrants. All of these "liberals" sit around in coffee shops talking about how white men have trampled over everyone and stripped them of their minority rights. That is why it is so confusing that they are actually for once fighting for the 99 percent. They have betrayed their motto of minority rule with majority rights, I mean majority rule with minority privileges, no that’s not it either. Oh, majority rule with minority rights. Shouldn’t the party that allows disproportionate amounts of money and funding go to minority groups be entirely ok with the minority running off with loads of cash and the rest of us getting left with the bill? They make all this talk of the Jewish people making all the money but they should be fine with that, surely Jews are a minority group and in these days it is critical that we “stand with Israel”

Now lets look at Wall Street’s reaction. These are the people that spend their loads of minority cash on congressmen and lobbyists trying to “deregulate the market” code term for reregulate it to my favor. They are the champions of free markets and they have failed to capitalize on a huge market right under their noses. Undoubtedly the large minority of those folks are hippies and weirdos. I would hypothesize that the sell and use of marijuana and other mind altering substance abounds there at the park. Why are they not championing this market? They should be the first ones to try and deregulate this market and enter it, buy a congressional committee to help them monopolize it, inflate the values of its shares owned by employees and then sell it right before it tumbles—that is the Wall Street way. Except we should let them crash once so we can bail them out; giving investors the illusion that America won’t let this market collapse.

If I were a true wall street capitalist I would set up in the park with a table selling drug paraphernalia, contraceptives, and colored bandanas. Surely these are the iconic things of the movement.

But alas, I have finished my cup of Starbucks hot cocoa. I have supported another giant corporation with a stereo-typically anti Wall Street group of people and now I must go to my day job. God bless America and her ever tricky marketing schemes.

Yours untruly, cause I am my own

Benjamin Williams