I recently heard a middle aged women complain to her fellow female allies about the stresses of being “good looking.” At first I was very happy to know that there was other conceded people out there like me and I could immediately relate to on both levels—that is of being attractive, and also being conceded. However, she went on to explain that her “shrink” or psychologist had actually done an informal study. He told her that from his experience he noted that generally good looking people have more problems their average or not-so-good looking counter parts. Needless to say my respect for this dame waned instantly. I personally knew the logic was false because in my own life there is a drastic contradiction. I am a good looking person (obviously) yet I would never describe my life as problematic. Theory debunked right? Well for some of you I realize that you will need more than my experience to be convinced. Oh, and if you felt your heart jump out in agreement at the idea that better looking people have it harder, you might want to quit reading this right now.
Now, I understand that it is impossible to measure happiness but it is possible to measure some factors that can contribute greatly. Let us start with the obvious, money. Good looking people enjoy an earnings benefit over ugly people. For women, a study shows, that a “5” or above on the ten point scale (p.s. I am guiltless in utilizing a rating system that measures the physical beauty of a human being.) will enjoy 8 percent higher earnings than their homely counterparts. Undoubtedly some of you are saying something like “oh, that’s because better looking people are more intelligent or harder working.” Think of the cheerleader stereotype…it, like all stereotypes, exist for a reason. Now, just so you all of you know I am not opposed to this; I have been an advocate for an ugly tax for years and this is the equivalent. I am however, using this to demonstrate that as far as money goes the ugly have it worse. Thank goodness for my great genetics.
I imagine that most people do not find excess weight attractive. I know there are a few, and they belong in fetish chat rooms. This, along with shortness or extreme tones of skin. Here is something I found from yahoo answers that is not only hilarious but resiliently truthful. “I am a 27 years old fat girl (I'm 1.65 m. height and 72 kg weight) and my mom told me that if I stay in this shape, I will never find a boyfriend and no man will ask for my hand in marriage.” Finally, a mother issuing out some tough love. This highlights the truth that ugly people are less likely to get married than better looking people. For years now people have rated marriage as the number one contributor to their overall happiness. I could not help but to think of this as I saw this girl’s humungous rock on her left hand ring finger.
So what was the deal with this girl? She enjoyed financial stability, she was married, and she had friends to complain to. This highlights the last great truth. Hot chicks are whiny. Because hot chicks have more cash to spend they are going to fork out the money to see a shrink, thus contaminating the psychologist’s field of sampling.
Again, this article is not meant to complain. I along with my beautiful friends will continue enjoying higher earnings, and some day marriage to a beautiful gal. While the homely will weep in their sweat pants and dream of their prince charming never to come, and also indulge into Jet Puff marshmallows that were bought with food stamps. That’s the truth, and that’s justice!
This is what the two futures may look like respectively:
Yours untruly, because I am my own
Benjamin Williams
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