Bigoted Bake Sale? Hardly.

I recently signed up for emails from a site called Groupon. They email me a daily coupon for my area every day. There are a ton of sites out there like this that make coupons available to people. It does not require a genius to tell you that most people like to pay less cash for things. It might however stump some people UC Berkeley; known as the nation’s most “liberal” university.

Let me explain. An association of students is organizing a phone bank to call California senators urging them to consider race and gender when extending admission letters to applying students. This comes in response to a proposition passed by voters last year that makes this practice known as affirmative action illegal in the state of California. Undoubtedly this association of students is highly ethnic.  What they want is for school administration boards to prefer women and people of ethnic backgrounds in comparison to their racist, bigoted, oppressive white male counterparts. In essence they want special treatment.

A group of college republicans gave them just that in an event so untactful and politically incorrect that republicans had to be attached to it. But it is hilarious because of the satire, and the response it has drawn from people on both sides of the debate.

They decided to hold a bake sale and the price of the pastries depended upon the race and gender of the customer. A white person got a pastry for two dollars, an Asian for a wun doler fity cents. Los mexicanos get them for 10 pesos, or one dollar, while dem black folks be payin in pure silver, 75 cents. The indian population: one pastry= twenty five cents and were all left saying “how”. Women will receive a quarter off the racial price, which means like one commentator said “Pocahontas will drive off with a truck full of pastries” because the pastries are free for Native American women. Isn’t that brilliant? Making prices reflect the difficulty of getting into college. So here is the head scratcher, the ethnic community is appalled at the bake sale. If anyone should be appalled it’s the white man; but for some reason supporters of affirmative action are pissed that they have to pay less for a pastry.

So here we have a bunch of college students that definitely don’t understand the idea of justice. The white population will resign under fears of being labeled a racist and pay the two bucks, and the rest will be protesting a discount. They go to one of America’s finest institutions and they are protesting a discount, they shouldn’t be there.

Poll: what would you do in this situation?

As a white man my plan of action would be the following: go straight to the international student center and become friends with all the non-white women I could find and I would give them cash to buy me pastries.

If I were a true American with an ethnic background however, I would capitalize on this in the following way. Lets say I am latino. I would gather my crew and offer the white folks a pastry for a buck fifty, I would pay the dollar for the pastry at the latino rate and pocket the fifty cents. I would make money off of someone else’s bake sale! That, my friends is the American dream and its exclusively available to the ethnic community, so why are they protesting?

Yours untruly, cause I am my own

Benjamin Williams